Life Happens From You

I am the biggest believer in what you think, you become, except... when it comes to confidence. And I am talking about real confidence, the feeling, the being, the doing - all of it, when you are in a crowded room, and most importantly, when you are alone.

Don't get me wrong. Thinking that you are the most gorgeous/handsome, intelligent, charismatic, eloquent & capable being in a crowd surely does help with your sense of confidence. But that is merely a fleeting feeling, if you have zero substance to back it up.

I never understood 'imposter syndrome', and think it is an overly used & normalized term among our generation. Every seat I get to sit in, I earned it, and there is a reason why I am sitting there instead of someone else. Am I the master of every topic I speak about and am I smarter than everyone else in the room? Absolutely not. But that does not mean I am less qualified than anyone else either.

Based on my observations on people, the lack of confidence comes from three aspects:

1. You know you are not enough, but you are not doing anything about it.

It's time to snap out of the loop where you think by repeating your self affirmations of 'I am enough', then automatically you are. How many of us can say that -

I, xx, have exhausted all the the information & resources I can get, and I am consciously working on myself, to be the best friend, employee/employer, romantic partner, father/mother, daughter/son, etc. I can ever be.

I, xx, have done everything I can, to achieve my ideal self with the body I want, the daily good habits I sustain, the high values I hold myself accountable with, etc.?

If anything strikes just as you are reading the above, then here is your sign to do something about it! Otherwise guess what? You will feel like an imposter, you will not feel as worthy, lovable or deserving of the life you could be living, and the relationships you could be having.

And the real wake up call is not that there are people out there that are smarter, fitter, more successful than you. What really should be motivating you is that, those who actually are smarter, fitter, more successful.. are working 10x harder than you, at this moment! Want a quick & simple proof? Go to your local gym at 6 AM, and check the type of people who work out there on the daily ;)

2. You focus too much on others who are irrelevant to you.

The more efforts I put into working on myself & building myself up, the less I care about where others are traveling to, what 'cool parties' they are attending, what milestones they are hitting in their career and life. Because they are not me. And that is not my journey.

I mentioned in my previous writings that I set timer on my phone and I do not view anyone's Instagram's stories. These days, my iPhone tells me my top apps are 'iMessage (for real check-ins with humans who matter in my life) , Equinox (LOL), Resy (LOL x 2) and Spotify (for music and podcast). The more you drown yourself in others' voluntary postings, the more lack you feel. Not because they are actually living a better life than you. Because let's be honest, no one puts their struggles on their perfectly aesthetically curated social media account, we all know that and it's perfectly fine (there is time & place to be vulnerable, and your Instagram account is not that place).

But when you find yourself feeling more urge to compare, instead of feeling inspired. It's time to stop that scrolling and get to workkk....on you, yourself, your life, your visions!!

Retract your energy from the external towards yourself, and let that results shine through you :)))

3. Your view of the world, and your view of you.

Confident people believe they have the chance to change the world and the lives around them for the better. Confident people admire the changemakers throughout the history, the remarkable leaders who propelled our society forward, the glorious creations in art, sports, business and so on. But they also believe they could be one of them too, that the history is made and remade every second.

Anything anyone has achieved, so can you. Anyone who accomplished certain things, you have a chance to do it better. The opportunities are endless, and your possibilities are limitless. Plain & simple.

When you carry this view while you go through life, no failures can faze you, no setbacks can stop you, no struggles can crash you. You understand that your current life albeit contingent on what happened, it is also malleable and has the chance to evolve to the state where you want it to be. You, are malleable, and ever evolving.

For life happens from you, not at you.

Everything you want to be, you can be, and it's all yours to claim & receive. It all stems from you.

Start building & stop whining!! ;) <3